Wendy Avery

(The purpose of this 16-week blog is to shine the light on childhood cancer by sharing our family’s personal experience as I prepare to run my first ever half marathon and raise money to help children with cancer and their families. Be a part of the story! Donate here then share with your own family and friends.)

When Nick was 13, he and his friend Andrew decided (like 90% of all teenage boys) that they were going to start a band.  Nick loved music and Andrew played the guitar. Nick would write lyrics. Andrew would play. They would sing, be famous, and make girls swoon.

The first order of business was to have a name for their band.  After tossing around some ideas they came up with a winner…The Positive Negatives.  Nick loved to draw and so he started drawing logos for their band name (one of those is pictured at the top of this page in Nick’s own handwriting).

Two years later, Nick would get cancer.  Eight months after that he would die.

While Nick was going through chemotherapy, he never said “why me”.  He didn’t complain, not even in private to me.  In fact, he always thought positively and believed there was a good reason for everything negative that was happening to him.

And so the name The Positive Negatives took on a whole new meaning for me.

How is it possible to be positive in such a negative world?  I have witnessed this kind of spirit in so many children, teens, and their parents who are living with cancer and the after effects.  They seem to have grasped what is important in life and in death.

It’s a difficult thing to do especially when there are so many awful things that come along to distract us.

THE WINDOW

There it is.  My distraction.  Third floor, 2^nd window from the left, right in the front of the building.  That is the room where Nick died.  I’m looking at it now as I type these words from St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, Tennessee.

The times that I returned to St. Jude in the first several years after Nick’s death, all I could do was see that window.  In every TV commercial and every print add, there it was.  For quite some time, my view of life was obstructed by that window and what had happened in that room.

It was the last place where I saw my son alive.  The last place where I held his warm hand.  The last place where I studied every freckle and chicken pox scar so I wouldn’t forget. It was the last place that we were all together…the Avery’s, party of 5.

What happened in that room became my focus for a time.  I couldn’t see past it.  Until one day I realized that I was focusing on 13 days of Nick’s life and forgetting about the other 15 years, 7 months, and 1 week.

Once I began to turn my thoughts to all the other days of Nick’s life, I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with what had happened.  How could I turn this mother’s worst nightmare into something positive?

THE INDELIBLE MARK

I am convinced that the only way that we will leave a mark on this world is to determine that whatever tragedy or heartache that comes to us in this life, we will face it head on and work to find what good we can make from it.

Several weeks ago on the 10^th anniversary of Nick’s death, I got an email from a St. Jude staff person and friend.  She said, “In QoL (Quality of Life) rounds this morning we remembered Nick and you and passed around pictures of you and Nick together.  We talked about Nick’s legacy.”

Nick has most definitely left a legacy here.  And it came about because he was the ultimate Positive Negative.  Just by his example, he taught me how to be one, too.

Recently I watched a cheesy made for Amazon series called Gortimer Gibbon’s Life on Normal Street.  At the end of one of the episodes the main character gives a heartfelt epilogue.  This is what he says…

“The only thing about life that anyone knows for certain is that it’s always changing. The moment you think you know where you stand the ground shifts beneath your feet. And I guess the most any of us can hope for is to fully love and be touched by the people we have met and the places we’ve been on this journey. And to know that, though we may only be passing through, we are not forgotten because we, too, have left an indelible mark.”

May you look for the positive in your negatives and leave an indelible mark.

By the way, it’s only 79 days (11 weeks and 2 days) until Race Day!   I am running so that  a cure will be found and kids will stop dying of cancer.

Song #46 from my Race Day Playlist is I Lived by OneRepublic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0rxydSolwU

This song reminds me of my Nick…and Carson…and Luis…and Samantha…and so many other kids whose lives have suddenly come to a screeching halt when they were told they had cancer.

If you haven’t been clicking the song link after reading the blog, you really should take a few minutes out of your day to enjoy some awesome music.

Be part of the story!  Donate here…

If you are unable to donate financially, please consider passing along this message to others who can.  Thank you!

http://fundraising.stjude.org/site/TR/Heroes/Heroes?px=2078389&pg=personal&fr_id=59186

I LIVED

Hope when you take that jump, you don’t fear the fall
Hope when the water rises, you built a wall
Hope when the crowd screams out, they’re screaming your name
Hope if everybody runs, you choose to stay

Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad
The only way you can know is give it all you have
And I hope that you don’t suffer but take the pain
Hope when the moment comes, you’ll say…
I, I did it all
I, I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
With every broken bone, I swear I lived

Hope that you spend your days, but they all add up
And when that sun goes down, hope you raise your cup
Oh, I wish that I could witness all your joy and all your pain
But until my moment comes, I’ll say…

I, I did it all
I, I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
With every broken bone, I swear I lived

 

Many of you who are reading this most likely know our Backstory, or at least part of it.  If you don’t and would like to know more details of Nick’s story, you can visit his CaringBridge site here…

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/nickavery

(The purpose of this 16-week blog is to shine the light on childhood cancer by sharing our family’s personal experience as I prepare to run my first ever half marathon and raise money to help children with cancer and their families. Be a part of the story! Donate here then share with your own family and friends.)

Most of the time, I get my half marathon training in before the day begins.  I have to get it over with early otherwise I spend most of the day trying to talk myself out of it.

 

I’m too tired to run after work.

I have too much to do when I get home.

I don’t feel good…I have a headache…I’m hungry.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…

 

The list of excuses can grow to be a mile long if I’m not careful.

Up until recently it was still fairly light in the early morning. But with fall just around the corner and because we have been losing daylight steadily, I’ve been running in the dark before the sun comes up.  The neighborhood looks strange and completely different before the world is awake.

As I ran along the side of the road on one of those first dark mornings, I came upon a street light. I didn’t think about the shadows that the light would cast especially since my own shadow was behind me at that moment.  But as I got closer to the glow of the light my shadow was suddenly beside me; then ran quickly ahead of me as I passed under and away from the light.  The first several times this happened, it scared the living bejeebers out of me!

While I watched my shadow race ahead and fall behind over and over again, I was reminded that we are, in fact, living in the Shadowlands…the in-between…the not-yet.

 

LIVING IN THE SHADOWLANDS

Last Saturday, I sat in a church in Akron, Ohio at the memorial service of yet another fallen child. Carson, the son of my dear friend, was diagnosed with cancer at the young age of 3. After 8 years of remission, Carson relapsed a few days before Thanksgiving 2015 and left for Heaven on August 11, 2016 at the age of 12.

 

“We were born but yesterday and know nothing.  Our days on earth are as fleeting as a shadow.”  Job 8:9

“How frail is humanity!  How short is life, how full of trouble!  We blossom like a flower and then wither. Like a passing shadow, we quickly disappear.”  Job 14:1-2

“What are human beings that You care for them, mere mortals that You think of them? They are like a breath; their days are like a fleeting shadow.”  Psalm 144:3-4

 

On my worst days, when I feel like I am surrounded on all sides by sickness and suffering, I remind myself that it won’t be like this forever.

C.S. Lewis once wrote, “The world of shadows, of almosts and neither/nors, close calls and what ifs, will give way to the bright sunshine of a world to come free of evil, free of pain, free of death.”

There is a Day coming when God says NO MORE!

No more hate.

No more fear.

No more suffering.

No more mourning.

No more tears.

And when that Day comes, no more children will ever get sick or die from cancer. In fact, it is the Day when God comes to restore all that has been lost…my Nick will be given back to me, Carson’s family will see him again, so many children will be returned to the ones who loved them so deeply in the Shadowlands.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’” Revelation 21:4

 

THE SHADOW PROVES THE SUNSHINE

I’m thankful for the streetlights because it would be impossible for me to run in total darkness.  The fact that I have a shadow running beside me in the early morning proves that there is still light in the world. I am also thankful for the light that I see through the darkness of suffering.  It brings me hope that a better Day is coming.

Speaking of days…only 86 days until Race Day!  Yikes, it’s getting real!  I am determined to finish this race if I have to crawl across the finish line (and I might have to!).

You have to hear Song #10 on my Race Day Playlist…Mr. Blue Sky by The Electric Light Orchestra (ELO).   It’s a fun song about the sun shining after so many dark and rainy days.  The video is pretty much done in a “Psychedelic 70’s” style.  I dare you to listen and not tap your toes!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swYdKF1MpWg

The sun is shining in the sky
There ain’t a cloud in sight
It stopped raining
Everybody’s in the play
And don’t you know
It’s a beautiful new day
Hey ay ay!

Runnin’ down the avenue
See how the sun shines brightly

In the city
On the streets where once was pity
Mr. Blue
Sky is living here today
Hey ay ay!

Mr. Blue Sky
Please tell us why
You had to hide away
For so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?

Mr. Blue Sky
Please tell us why
You had to hide away
For so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?

Hey you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race
A celebration
Mr. Blue Sky’s up there waitin’
And today
Is the day we’ve waited for!

 

Be part of the story!  Donate here and help find a cure for kids with cancer…

If you are unable to donate financially, please consider passing along this message to others who can.  Thank you!

http://fundraising.stjude.org/site/TR/Heroes/Heroes?px=2078389&pg=personal&fr_id=59186

 

Many of you who are reading this most likely know our Backstory, or at least part of it.  If you don’t and would like to know more details of Nick’s story, you can visit his CaringBridge site here…

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/nickavery

(The purpose of this 16-week blog is to shine the light on childhood cancer by sharing our family’s personal experience as I prepare to run my first ever half marathon and raise money to help children with cancer and their families. Be a part of the story! Donate here then share with your own family and friends.)

I absolutely love superhero movies, probably way more than any other girl that I know.  Once I searched “How to watch the full Marvel Cinematic Universe in chronological order” and then I did it.

I am not kidding.

Captain America, Agent Carter, Iron Man, Thor, The Incredible Hulk, The Avengers, Agents of Shield, Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man, Spiderman, XMen…the list goes on.  As you can imagine, it took some time to accomplish this feat but I really did it.

This is not something that I am particularly proud of.  Just a fun fact that not many people knew about me until right now.

One thing that I have observed while watching all these fictional stories play out is that the superheroes are only “super” heroes because they possess some unreal ability that was made up by a writer with a good imagination.

Superman puts on a cape and flies.

Iron Man has to create a special suit to be super AND stay alive.

Spiderman shoots webs out of his wrists.

Thor has an awesome giant hammer that only he is able to pick up and swing around.

The Hulk gets mad, turns green, then grows so big that all of his clothes rip to shreds off of his body (except for his pants which seem to grow with him…not sure how that happens.)

Some shoot lasers out of their eyes;

some can turn a sunny day instantly into a tornadic storm;

others grow long, sharp metal claws out of their knuckles to rip apart their enemies.

BACKSTORY: 

I have had the privilege of knowing some real superheroes in my life. Their superhero abilities are real and they are extraordinary.  I have said many times that God seems to put something special into kids who suffer with cancer.  They are super optimistic, super wise, super compassionate, often super funny, much more than the average human being.

A few years ago, a dear girl and friend of mine who has had to deal with cancer and the after effects since the age of 9, said to me “Wendy, do you think that it’s better for a kid to get cancer when they’re little and don’t understand or when they are older and know what’s going on?” 

First of all, who starts a question with “do you think that it’s better for a kid to get cancer…”?  I’ll tell you who…those of us who have lived in the world of childhood cancer for too many years. These are the things we ponder. For us, it is not “rare” for a child to have cancer.  In fact, many times we know more sick kids than healthy ones.

Are you wondering how I answered her question?  Well, I thought for a minute, because I knew that she wanted a real and truthful answer.  Then I said “I think it’s better for a little one who doesn’t know then they won’t be scared about possibly dying.”

My young friend said “I disagree.  I think it’s better when you’re older and understand because then it has the ability to change you into a better person.”

Wow.

No one wants to go through cancer in order to be changed for the better.  But cancer and lots of other really crappy things happen to us every day that we have no control over.  There is one thing we do control, however, and that is the way that we will allow those things to change us.

THE STORY:

When I decided to listen to the crazy voices in my head and sign up for this half marathon, I decided that I also wanted to find a way to remember all of those superhero kids that have personally changed my life.

I order to do this I have decided to sew individual ribbons, with each child’s name written on them, onto the shirt I will be wearing on race day.  This will be a visual reminder to everyone who sees it and it also allows me to physically carry the names of these kids as I go.  These are kids who have died and also those who have survived (some now into adulthood) but I know each one personally or through their surviving mom or dad. And these are not just St. Jude kiddos. Childhood cancer is everwhere.

So far there are 89 ribbons.

I have listed their names here…first names only to protect privacy.  It’s a long list so you can skim down through or read each name, if you choose.  Those with an asterisk (*) are those who have died.

You will see their names.  I see their faces.

These are the superheroes that I run for… (You won’t want to miss listening to the Song of the Week at the end of this list)

Addison*

Alejandro*

Alex*

Amaya*

Amelia*

Andre*

Andy*

Ashton*

Bobby*

Brandon*

Braydon*

Bree*

Brent*

Brian*

Bryce*

Camden*

Cameron*

Carson*

Catie*

Chase*

Chris*

CJ*

Courtney*

David*

Devan*

Espn*

Gracie*

Leslie*

James*

Jessica*

Jina*

Jonathan*

Josh O.*

Josh R.*

Kaden*

Luis*

Matt*

Matthew*

Miriam*

Myah*

Nicholas Adam Avery*

Nick R.*

Odie*

Owen*

Quincy*

Quintillius*

Ryan*

Sam*

Sarah*

Scott*

Sean*

Shannia*

Susie*

Sydney*

Thomas*

Tyler C.*

Tyler K.*

Will*

Alex

Braydon

Christopher

Clay

Dennis

Emily

Evans

Hayley

Hutch

Jack

Jakayla

Jamarius

Javon

Jayden

John

Jordi

Julia

Leland

Louis

Marcela

Morgan

Noah

Pete

Phillip

Regan

Samantha E.

Samantha S.

Stephanie

Thomas

Vivian

THE SONG:

The song of the week is #50 on my Run Day Playlist…Superheroes by The Script.  I love this song because it reminds me of all of those names I just listed above.  They are the real superheroes.  Listen and remember the superheroes in your life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIm1GgfRz6M

When you’ve been fighting for it all your life,

You’ve been struggling to make things right,

That’s how a superhero learns to fly.

Every day, every hour, turn the pain into power.

 

Be part of the story!  Donate here…

93 days until Race Day and so far we have raised $2,097 to save the lives of kids everywhere!  THANK YOU!!!  Let’s see how much more we can raise!

If you are unable to donate financially, please consider passing along this message to others who can.  Thank you!

http://fundraising.stjude.org/site/TR/Heroes/Heroes?px=2078389&pg=personal&fr_id=59186

 

Many of you who are reading this most likely know our Backstory, or at least part of it.  If you don’t and would like to know more details of Nick’s story, you can visit his CaringBridge site here…

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/nickavery

(The purpose of this 16-week blog is to shine the light on childhood cancer by sharing our family’s personal experience as I prepare to run my first ever half marathon and raise money to help children with cancer and their families. Be a part of the story! Donate here then share with your own family and friends.)

Text from my phone on May 2, 2016:

Me: “Oh crap, I just signed up for the St. Jude Half Marathon. I’m doing it even if I have to walk the entire thing!”

Josh: “That’s called the inciting incident.”

 

Let me be clear from the very beginning.  I am not a runner.  I have never been a runner.  I have never been anything resembling a runner. And yes, I am now signed up to run a half marathon.

When I texted my oldest son, Josh, to tell him that I had done the unthinkable, signed up to actually run…not a 50 yard dash, not even a 5K, but 13.1 MILES…he didn’t respond with “Are you crazy? Why would you do that?” or even a “Good job, Mom! You can do this!”  His response was just five words…“That’s called the inciting incident.”

I had no clue what that meant.

When I “Googled” it (which I often do for so many things in life) this is what I found… “The Inciting Incident is the event or decision that begins a story’s problem.  Everything up and until that moment is Backstory, everything after is The Story.”

I knew exactly what he meant.

Life is made up of one inciting incident after another.  You never know what lurks in the shadows of a new day when you get out of bed in the morning. So many problems, joys, and tragedies with no idea of how they will turn out.

“When it comes to figuring things out in this life you’re living, you’d do well to know the rest of the story. Because for most of us, life feels like a movie we’ve arrived to 40 minutes late.  Sure, good things happen, sometimes beautiful things. But tragic things happen too. What does it mean? We find ourselves in the middle of a story that is sometimes wonderful, sometimes awful, usually a confusing mixture of both, and we haven’t a clue how to make sense of it all. No wonder we keep losing heart. We need to know the rest of the story.”  -John Eldredge

I have no idea how this part of my story is going to end (and yes, I am quite terrified), but I am inviting you to enter into this inciting incident with me.  Once a week, over the next 15 weeks leading up to Race Day on December 3, I will tell you some of the Backstory that brought me to this place and I will share parts of The Story that are happening now.  I will also share songs with you that are taken straight from my Race Day Playlist…an extremely diverse bunch of songs that I’m hoping will give me the energy to put one foot in front of the other mile after mile after very looong mile.

BACKSTORY:

Ten years ago, this very day, was the worst day of my entire life.  At 3 something in the early morning of August 25, 2006, my 15 year old son, Nick left this world for Heaven after battling cancer (acute myeloid leukemia) for only 8 months.

I don’t know why I didn’t die at that same moment because that’s what it felt like.  In those first hours, I could have never imagined that I would still be alive 10 years later.

I don’t know how I have survived the past decade.  Day by day, moment by moment, I suppose, just piled up one after the other and brought me to today.

Several years before Nick got sick, my sister’s son died of Cystic Fibrosis then my dad died the following year after a stroke.  When Nick was diagnosed, right before Christmas 2005, I was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that my nephew and dad were both gone. And now my son had cancer.

The time since Nick’s death has been filled with other horrors…the sudden death of my sister just 8 months after Nick was gone; my mom’s quick decline into dementia and her slow, lingering, weeks-long death;  and the sudden death of my youngest brother just a year after Mom was gone.  This is not the backstory that I would have chosen.

THE STORY:

So.  Here we are at today.

Today, I am training for a half marathon.

You may be wondering why in the world, at 53 years of age (54 by race day), I would even attempt this feat for the first time in my life. The answer is easy. Because not only did stinking cancer take my son away from me but I have now spent the past 10+ years of my life watching my friends’ children suffer and die, one after another.  And I am just sick and tired of it.

How would the world respond if today a terrorist took a classroom full of 43 children hostage? Then out of those 43, he chose 5 children to kill then injure almost all the rest so that they would be left with horrible scars for the rest of their lives. Only one or two were fortunate enough to escape untouched except for the emotional scars and lingering fear left behind.  This would be awful and the attention of the world would be on those 43 children.

But what if that didn’t just happen today but then again tomorrow, then the next day, and the next…in fact, everyday of every year.  Would the world pay attention and do something to save these children?

Today, 43 more children were diagnosed with some form of cancer.  Tomorrow another 43 children will be diagnosed with cancer…and so on and so on.  That’s 301 children this week…1,333 this month, 15,695 this year.  Out of those children diagnosed, 12% like my Nick will not survive more than 5 years.  Many will be left without a leg, an arm, an eye.  Few escape untouched.

Today, cancer kills more children than AIDs, asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis and congenital anomalies combined. It is the leading cause of death by disease in children and adolescents in the United States. Yet all types of childhood cancer COMBINED receive less than 4% of the United States federal funding for cancer research according to the National Cancer Institute.   That is NOT ok with me.

So today, I am training for a half marathon.

I run for my dear son, Nick.

I run for the many children who have died.

I run for those who, despite their many battle scars, are surviving.

I run for those still in the fight.

I run for those who don’t even know yet that hard days are ahead.

I run in the hopes that one day no child will ever again die from cancer.

Be part of The Story!  Donate here…

My goal is to raise at least $2,500 for the awesome research that happens at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and will make a difference in outcomes of those 43 kids who are diagnosed with cancer every day.

That’s just 25 people to donate $100.

Or 50 people to donate $50.

Or 100 people to donate $25.

If you are unable to donate financially, please consider passing along this message to others who can!

http://fundraising.stjude.org/site/TR/Heroes/Heroes?px=2078389&pg=personal&fr_id=59186

THE SONG:

Song #32 on my Race Day Playlist is It’s Your Life by Francesca Battistelli.  It reminds me of the moment of the inciting incident…when we have to choose what we’re going to do with whatever comes next.  The event or decision that begins your story’s problem…

Listen to “It’s Your Life” here… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F11aN4E98hA

This is the moment

It’s on the line

Which way you gonna fall?

In the middle

Between wrong and right

But you know after all…

 

It’s your life.

Whatcha gonna do?

The world is watching you.

Every day the choices you make

say what you are and who

your heart beats for.

It’s an open door.

It’s your life.

 

Are you who you

always said you would be

with a sinking feeling in your chest?

Always waiting

on someone else to fix you.

Tell me when did you forget?

 

It’s your life.

Whatcha gonna do?

The world is watching you.

Every day the choices you make

say what you are and who

your heart beats for.

It’s an open door.

It’s your life.

For many of us, our Backstories are filled with some pretty hard stuff.  These are the things that change the very being of who we are… who we were.  If you are struggling, let me say that I am sorry for the hard things you have gone through.  We are in this fight together.  I am with you.

Many of you who are reading this most likely know our Backstory, or at least part of it.  If you don’t and would like to know more details of Nick’s story, you can visit his CaringBridge site here…

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/nickavery

Text from my phone on May 2, 2016:

Me: “Oh crap, I just signed up for the St. Jude Half Marathon. I’m doing it even if I have to walk the entire thing!”

Josh: “That’s called the inciting incident.”

 

Let me be clear from the very beginning.  I am not a runner.  I have never been a runner.  I have never been anything resembling a runner. And yes, I am now signed up to run a half marathon.

When I texted my oldest son, Josh, to tell him that I had done the unthinkable, signed up to actually run…not a 50 yard dash, not even a 5K, but 13.1 MILES…he didn’t respond with “Are you crazy? Why would you do that?” or even a “Good job, Mom! You can do this!”  His response was just five words…“That’s called the inciting incident.”

I had no clue what that meant.

When I “Googled” it (which I often do for so many things in life) this is what I found… “The Inciting Incident is the event or decision that begins a story’s problem.  Everything up and until that moment is Backstory, everything after is The Story.”

I knew exactly what he meant.

 

Life is made up of one inciting incident after another.  You never know what lurks in the shadows of a new day when you get out of bed in the morning. So many problems, joys, and tragedies with no idea of how they will turn out.

“When it comes to figuring things out in this life you’re living, you’d do well to know the rest of the story. Because for most of us, life feels like a movie we’ve arrived to 40 minutes late.  Sure, good things happen, sometimes beautiful things. But tragic things happen too. What does it mean? We find ourselves in the middle of a story that is sometimes wonderful, sometimes awful, usually a confusing mixture of both, and we haven’t a clue how to make sense of it all. No wonder we keep losing heart. We need to know the rest of the story.”  -John Eldredge

I have no idea how this part of my story is going to end (and yes, I am quite terrified), but I am inviting you to enter into this inciting incident with me.  Once a week, over the next 15 weeks leading up to Race Day on December 3, I will tell you some of the Backstory that brought me to this place and I will share parts of The Story that are happening now.  I will also share songs with you that are taken straight from my Race Day Playlist…an extremely diverse bunch of songs that I’m hoping will give me the energy to put one foot in front of the other mile after mile after very looong mile.

 

BACKSTORY:  Ten years ago, this very day, was the worst day of my entire life.  At 3 something in the early morning of August 25, 2006, my 15 year old son, Nick left this world for Heaven after battling cancer (acute myeloid leukemia) for only 8 months.

I don’t know why I didn’t die at that same moment because that’s what it felt like.  In those first hours, I could have never imagined that I would still be alive 10 years later.

I don’t know how I have survived the past decade.  Day by day, moment by moment, I suppose, just piled up one after the other and brought me to today.

Several years before Nick got sick, my sister’s son died of Cystic Fibrosis then my dad died the following year after a stroke.  When Nick was diagnosed, right before Christmas 2005, I was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that my nephew and dad were both gone. And now my son had cancer.

The time since Nick’s death has been filled with other horrors…the sudden death of my sister just 8 months after Nick was gone; my mom’s quick decline into dementia and her slow, lingering, weeks-long death;  and the sudden death of my youngest brother just a year after Mom was gone.  This is not the backstory that I would have chosen.

 

THE STORY:

So.  Here we are at today.

Today, I am training for a half marathon.

You may be wondering why in the world, at 53 years of age (54 by race day), I would even attempt this feat for the first time in my life. The answer is easy. Because not only did stinking cancer take my son away from me but I have now spent the past 10+ years of my life watching my friends’ children suffer and die, one after another.  And I am just sick and tired of it.

How would the world respond if today a terrorist took a classroom full of 43 children hostage? Then out of those 43, he chose 5 children to kill then injure almost all the rest so that they would be left with horrible scars for the rest of their lives. Only one or two were fortunate enough to escape untouched except for the emotional scars and lingering fear left behind.  This would be awful and the attention of the world would be on those 43 children.

But what if that didn’t just happen today but then again tomorrow, then the next day, and the next…in fact, everyday of every year.  Would the world pay attention and do something to save these children?

Today, 43 more children were diagnosed with some form of cancer.  Tomorrow another 43 children will be diagnosed with cancer…and so on and so on.  That’s 301 children this week…1,333 this month, 15,695 this year.  Out of those children diagnosed, 12% like my Nick will not survive more than 5 years.  Many will be left without a leg, an arm, an eye.  Few escape untouched.

Today, cancer kills more children than AIDs, asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis and congenital anomalies combined. It is the leading cause of death by disease in children and adolescents in the United States. Yet all types of childhood cancer COMBINED receive less than 4% of the United States federal funding for cancer research according to the National Cancer Institute.   That is NOT ok with me.

 

So today, I am training for a half marathon.

I run for my dear son, Nick.

I run for the many children who have died.

I run for those who, despite their many battle scars, are surviving.

I run for those still in the fight.

I run for those who don’t even know yet that hard days are ahead.

I run in the hopes that one day no child will ever again die from cancer.

 

Be part of The Story!  Donate here…

My goal is to raise at least $2,500 for the awesome research that happens at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and will make a difference in outcomes of those 43 kids who are diagnosed with cancer every day.

That’s just 25 people to donate $100.

Or 50 people to donate $50.

Or 100 people to donate $25.

If you are unable to donate financially, please consider passing along this message to others who can!

http://fundraising.stjude.org/site/TR/Heroes/Heroes?px=2078389&pg=personal&fr_id=59186

 

Song #32 on my Race Day Playlist is It’s Your Life by Francesca Battistelli.  It reminds me of the moment of the inciting incident…when we have to choose what we’re going to do with whatever comes next.  The event or decision that begins your story’s problem…

This is the moment

It’s on the line

Which way you gonna fall?

In the middle

Between wrong and right

But you know after all…

 

It’s your life.

Whatcha gonna do?

The world is watching you.

Every day the choices you make

say what you are and who

your heart beats for.

It’s an open door.

It’s your life.

 

Are you who you

always said you would be

with a sinking feeling in your chest?

Always waiting

on someone else to fix you.

Tell me when did you forget?

 

It’s your life.

Whatcha gonna do?

The world is watching you.

Every day the choices you make

say what you are and who

your heart beats for.

It’s an open door.

It’s your life.

Listen to “It’s Your Life” here… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F11aN4E98hA

For many of us, our Backstories are filled with some pretty hard stuff.  These are the things that change the very being of who we are… who we were.  If you are struggling, let me say that I am sorry for the hard things you have gone through.  We are in this fight together.  I am with you.

 

Many of you who are reading this most likely know our Backstory, or at least part of it.  If you don’t and would like to know more details of Nick’s story, you can visit his CaringBridge site here…

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/nickavery